I have a wonderful life partner, a co-parent who makes every Mother’s day wonderful for me. I request every other year a photo shoot with my good cameras. As an artist, new promo shots are always a hot commodity and he is an awesome photographer. This year, our daughter was his photo assistant. We always have fun together.
But, yesterday’s Mother’s Day holiday was more painful than usual when I thought of my relationship with my mother. My mother and I were a bit distant for a little over two years which made the past two Mother’s Day a bit wistful when I reflected on our dramatic relationship. But, since her death this past August, the feeling of ending without reconciliation has been heartbreaking. My mother had issues, I have mother issues now. I’m breaking that cycle, however when it comes to my relationship with my daughter. I have to.
I wrote a lot when my mother was killed in August, a lot of letters, poems and songs to and about her. I loved her like no other. I was also very hurt by her and disappointed sometimes. I was her first born. She was very young when she had me. A lot of our issues stemmed from things I will probably never know about, because most of it were things she dealt with as an adopted child, as a Black woman often mistaken as every ethnicity but African-American, as a single mother of five children, etc.
I wrote this song “hunger” less than a month after she died. I have questions. I have this intense love. I have a lot of anger. What came out was a letter to her in song about all of that. My life partner, who is also my producer, composed beautiful music on his guitar to accompany the song and this is what we came up with.
I shared the song on my Facebook personal page yesterday and received feedback from others who had similar relationships with their mothers, could relate to the sentiment. I received feedback from folks who have (or have had) struggle-free relationships with their moms and still could find value in the words of the song, even more grateful for their relationships with their mothers.
Tell me what you think, tell me your story in the comment section below. The song is available for free download all this week before it goes on sale for .99 cents. You can pay for it this week if you wish (that would be awesome) by typing in the amount you want to give. If you share the link to the download with others, that would be awesome, too.
I hope your Monday is awesome and your week is sunshine.